The tyranny of April
Sunday, April 13th, 2008 by websterThere are two months of the year I hate. One of them is February — that time of the year when winter stops being festive and starts trying to kill you. The other one is April.
You know how it is. 3:30 p.m., 72 degrees outside, 128 degrees inside your car, birds are singing, everyone’s driving around with music playing loud, flowers are popping up, and you’re heading out to the local baseball or softball game. A splendid afternoon.
As you’re pulling on your shoes, you glimpse your jacket, lying over there on the floor where you tossed it three days ago. You immediately decide you won’t need it, that your friends will laugh at you for even bringing it.
“Duuuuuude, what’s with the jaaaaacket?” they’ll ask, implying that you’re a total lily, or worse, some kind of momma’s boy. As if they never spent a day of their lives in Illinois during the cruel, moody month of April.
Robert Frost knew:
“The sun was warm but the wind was chill.
You know how it is with an April day
When the sun is out and the wind is still,
You’re one month on in the middle of May.
But if you so much as dare to speak,
A cloud comes over the sunlit arch,
A wind comes off a frozen peak,
And you’re two months back in the middle of March.”
By Robert Frost (”Two Tramps In Mud Time”).
April’s great for poets. It’s hell on sports writers. Until you’ve sat huddled on the end of some rural school’s idea of a ‘bleacher,’ during a 9-1 blowout, while a 40-mph wind from every direction rips at your notepad, turns your cheeks purple and makes you wish you were never born, you haven’t been truly miserable.
But then it gets worse.
You glance pathetically over at the brave souls sharing this local sports experience with you. They’re sitting on booster blankets, huddled in a group, all wearing parkas, gloves and knit caps while slurping hot chocolate. And one of them points at you and asks …
“Duuuuuude, where’s your jaaaaacket?”
This is why I hate April.
By the way, if you’d like to read more poems about the month of April, go here:
http://www.riverdeep.net/current/2000/04…
Just don’t go telling everybody I gave you the link.

